If you are anything like me, this summer has seemed like hit after hit. And loss after loss. For me, this summer brought the stress of balancing five graduate courses split between two different universities. It brought the sudden death of my cousin, the reveal of my childhood sexual trauma, and much, much anxiety surrounding switching jobs in the middle of a pandemic. I often wondered, “How am I going to handle this?”, “How am I going to do it all?”.
Unfortunately with these questions came answers that involved a lot of negative self talk. I put so much focus into what I hadn’t done and what I still have to do, that I neglected to acknowledge what I did accomplish this summer. This summer I:
- Conquered graduate school again with a 4.0
- Completed my graduate course requirement towards my teacher certification courses
- Spent some time loving myself
- Battled with my anxiety, and won the majority of the battles
- Spent time with my niece for a weekend
- Strengthened my relationship with my significant other
- Strengthened my relationship with friends
- Strengthened my relationship with my mom
- Rekindled my love for writing and reading
- Started releasing this blog to the public
More importantly, I allowed myself to feel everything. I allowed myself to be vulnerable with those close to me so that I could begin my healing again. I know that in times such as these, death and the stress of the unknown seem so suffocating. Everyone thinks that we should push and be fully productive in spite of a pandemic. While I now acknowledge that I am not as fully productive as I was before, I do acknowledge that despite it all, I have accomplished things. And for that I express my sincere gratitude to those who have loved and cared for me despite of this. I express my gratitude to myself for taking care of me.
So I encourage you all, despite what has happened in these last six months, take some time to write a list of things you have accomplished. Take time to list what you are grateful for. No matter how big or small. Look at it and tell yourself, “I did that!”. What you will realize is, you have done more than you once believed. And express gratitude to those who helped you along the way and to yourself for getting through. Wishing much love and peace to you all as we conquer the rest of 2020.